Do I need a course in Poetry 101? I’m frustrated. I’m old. Already this is sounding like a poem. I didn’t mean it sorry. What I mean is that I’ve been literally (see) churning out this “poetry” since I found “The River of Stones”. Everything has been turning into poetry! I’m serious; of course that’s pretty obvious when I read what comes out of my head. As I write now I am deliberately writing quickly, sticking with the first words that pop into my head.
But I’m frustrated. I called my “Code” poem an ode having no clue what the technical meaning of an ode was. I looked it up in my old (1961) dictionary and on Wikipedia of course (ha---as a course) ---See! This is what is happening---play on words. Play is good, a serious business for me I guess. Anyway, Wikipedia immediately trips me up with "Ode (from the Ancient Greek ὠδή) is a type of lyrical verse. A classic ode is structured in three major parts: the strophe, the antistrophe, and the epode---", ok, go there--- Whoa, wait a minute, my head is already starting to tighten and ache. At which point I started this questioning, a little depressed, throwing in the “you’re too old for this” stuff. So I’m letting it all flow out into this piece of prose.
It is helpful. For a few minutes I let go of the maddening tendency to say it just right or not at all ---hide unless perfect---perfectionist tendencies. (A lie occurred; I fixed perfectionistic). Point is though do I want to study poetry at the age of 66? And if I want to look further into whether I do want to do that where will I start. I’m too much of a snob to buy poetry for dummies; I tried it once when I taught myself Front-page to create a website; I won’t enroll in another college course. I’m basically a hermit. I am enjoying “The River of Stones” exercise, surprised at what is in my head. Wow, it is really a great discipline to just say what I am thinking as it comes into my mind here in this now too long piece.
So, I’ll fulfill the stones project and figure it out from there. While doing this I have worked on my “novel” very little, believing I have to immerse myself in those thoughts/that world, to make a story come together in a whole. Is there a whole? What is the definition of whole? Clearly---obviously I mean cloudily---that is the question.